What Happened Next: After Healing the Struggle
Written by: Nancy Jubb
Thank you to everyone who reached out to share that my sermon touched them in some way. I am incredibly grateful that it resonated with so many people. But immediately after I finished my sermon, I realized that I hadn’t shared as much as I had meant to about how things are in my relationship with my boss, Naokimi, now.
Once the final lesson in my journey of struggle really settled in my heart – realizing that the problem was in me and not in Naokimi, I finally felt ready to show him the compassion that I tried to show everyone that I know. I was ready to hold space and listen to him first, like really listen, instead of letting myself be triggered every time he spoke to me. I immediately called his assistant and scheduled a lunch for the following week.
The first time we had lunch together, just the two of us – things didn’t do so well. We made some small talk, asking each other about our families and how we were both doing. But as soon as the conversation turned to work, the mood immediately soured and we both felt our frustrations coming out towards each other again. It left such a sour taste in my mouth that I dared not set up another one-on-one again. And yet, here we were almost a year later getting ready to meet again.
As we settled into the booth at the sushi restaurant, I mentally reminded myself again – “be open. listen first. I don’t need to share everything that pops into my head. ask more questions than statements.” And as I asked him how he’s been doing, he really shared so openly with me that I was almost a little taken-aback. He shared honestly about his recent experiences and the realizations he had been having through his own struggles with work. I wasn’t used to seeing this side of Naokimi, being so open about his feelings. And I got more curious – really asking him about where he feels God leading him in his own life and why he felt called to accept his position as President of our movement in America. His answers are not for me to share so publicly, but suffice it to say that I was deeply moved. I hadn’t realized so many of the difficulties and challenges he was facing in his own life. I even felt guilty!
Here I was judging him for not “doing the work” on himself, and yet the insights he was sharing clearly showed that he was, in fact, working on himself in his own way. As he shared, I saw how God was aligning his work and mine so that we could truly work together – that God was lining me up to take some responsibilities off of his plate in order to free him to do the work that he felt God calling him to focus on more. It was amazing!
And when I finally shared with him why I had asked for the lunch – to ask him if I could take more responsibility in the Clifton Family Church community – he was very surprised, in a good way of course. He replied, “I am always happy to support people when they feel God calling them to step-up. I accept!”
As we concluded our lunch, Naokimi chuckled about how well this meeting had gone, “Much better than our last lunch, wouldn’t you say?”
Since then, I can say with all honesty that there is no more animosity in my heart towards him. I feel such deep respect and admiration for him. When we talk with each other, I now feel as though our opposite natures complement each other instead of contradicting. The conversation is smooth. I don’t feel the need to interject out of frustration or anger. It feels as though he understands what I am sharing when I volunteer information or a suggestion. We are moving in the same direction – to grow our community in faith and love.
Resources from the Sermon[Article] Father Moon’s Sermons: https://history.
